on August 15th, i officially received an ADHD diagnosis, resulting in a daily prescription of 20mg of Adderall XR.
the diagnostic screening was done over the phone, and a bottle of 60 10mg pills was delivered to my door that same evening. since then, i’ve been dutifully ingesting my medication every morning, and the results have been genuinely life-changing.
however, i am still skeptical as to if the results obtained by regular amphetamine use are indicative of an underlying “chemical imbalance”, or simply par for the course given the nature of the stimulant.
i am skeptical of mental health culture in general, which i believe promotes rumination, negative feedback loops, and self-fulfilling prophecies in the minds of those diagnosed with allegedly innate conditions such as “anxiety” and “depression”.
and yet i pursued this diagnosis, paying $600 to “skip-the-line” and evade the pitfalls of the canadian healthcare system. because despite a deep passion for the work i do, i do struggle with procrastination and a lack of discipline when it comes to getting things done. and i believe i have a right to pursue whatever means enable my ends, by whatever means necessary.
enclosed are my further thoughts on mental health medicalization, and some personal reflections on the (often unexpected) things i’ve noticed as a result of my prescription.
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